Healing the Needing

“My mother didn’t love me!” is a pattern I have seen stuck in the energy field of some of my clients and perpetuating the feeling of not being loved.

It may be true. In looking deeper, I remember a situation where mom totally resented my client because she thought my client’s birth would bring her and her dad closer together.  And yet it didn’t. In fact, her birth ruined everything. It made it worse!

And she blamed my client.  She resented her and she treated her badly.

But, who is really to blame?  Blaming doesn’t honestly resolve anything but it may provide some healing to consider mom’s perspective.

Who tried to trap dad?

Who didn’t want to look at herself as needing healing to heal the needing?  Mom.

Mom needed healing.  She looked to dad to feel loved, believing a baby would bring them closer together.

And since she didn’t get that healing, she passed this curse of feeling unloved onto my client.

So, now my client has the opportunity to heal the needing. Needing mom to love her. Because she doesn’t (need mom to love her). So, in healing her own needing, she may be able to heal mom’s.  My client’s forgiveness, compassion and understanding helps provide that healing.  Mom doesn’t even have to know because the act of forgiveness has the energy of healing the needing.

Your situation may not be exactly the same, but you may not feel loved because of the way someone treated you.  Someone who wasn’t able to love their self.

Release the need to be loved by someone incapable of love for the self and therefore anyone else.  If you do not love yourself, nothing they do will make you feel loved.  When you release the need for THEM to prove that you are lovable, you may be able to go within and realize you are complete without their love.

It’s like going back in time, and you change the present. Dramatically! Because it’s all in the way you see it based on past beliefs that you need to be loved by your mother.  And now you don’t, so how different is your world?

Remember this:  You ARE.  You just are.  As in I AM.  Need nothing ELSE!  You don’t need to need.

And that goes for needing mom to love you… or needing “him” to love you.

Ya, I’m changing the subject just like that and talking about guys.

If you want something, you need only ask for it and if you don’t receive it right away, that only means you’re going to get something better.

WAY better.

Something that takes a little more time to physically manifest.

Ask for “the one” with details as to what “the one” looks and feels like and if your current partner isn’t it, then realize there is something better.  Someone that has the qualities you like and who doesn’t have the qualities you don’t like.  Don’t be surprised however, that when you remove your own need for him to love you in a certain way, he just does as a result of your asking (even if he doesn’t know about the request).

This feeling of being betrayed, disrespected and/or unloved (when you’ve done so much to be loved for)…. WHY?  The experience only helped you define what you want and don’t want.  You weren’t betrayed, disrespected or unloved.  You attracted an experience with unconscious thoughts about the way men are.  Don’t take it personal.  You attracted someone because you had limiting beliefs, expectations and feelings of unworthiness.  Now realize what those beliefs, expectations and feelings of unworthiness were, also  realizing that just because mom didn’t love you doesn’t make you unworthy.

The universe wants to know what you want. You learn what you want and what you don’t want with experiences such as this.  You’re refining your list.  You’re supposed to realize that when you ask in high vibration, you RECEIVE in high vibration.  You’re NOT supposed to come to the conclusion that you’re not worthy of love because your mother didn’t love you.  You don’t have to prove to someone that you’re lovable or keep on trying to convince them that they have to show you how to love you so that you can feel loved.  If they don’t love their self, they won’t be able to love you.  The burden of your need to be loved in a certain way may trigger their own unworthiness, and feelings of unworthiness are not healing.  Unconditional love is healing, but that can only happen when you love yourself… unconditionally.  When you don’t need them to love you in a certain way so that you feel loved.

You may be able to heal the “unloved” part of you with these EFT statements…

“Even though mom didn’t love me and if my mom didn’t love me, then WHO is gonna love me?.. But then, well… mom… it was kind of hard for her to love me, when she didn’t love herself and she NEEDED him to love her…, I deeply and completely accept myself, just the way I AM.”

“Even though my momma didn’t love me and is a really good example of how you can’t love others if you don’t love yourself, I DO love myself for all my special qualities and uniqueness and that is ALL I really need”

“Even though I may feel betrayed, I deeply and completely love and accept myself, allow myself to process these feelings, allow them to flow through me, allow myself to accept them as part of being human, and then RELEASE them, realizing that I can refine my list and do better next time.”

Tap out the betrayal, or feeling of being unloved, or whatever and affirm “I AM”. I just am. I have no need to need.

One thing I must say is, that in probably the last 10 years, I have been okay not having a man in my life.  I don’t get attached when I’m in a relationship and I enjoy my freedom when I am not.  Yet, there are times I put out to the universe “wouldn’t _____ be nice”.  I admit, this is usually based on what other women have in a relationship.  Ie, men that buy them things, have nice cars, etc., etc.  And whenever I did that, pretty soon, I got exactly that.  I didn’t think about it after I let it go.  Just. Like. That.  And so I’ve had everything I’ve ever asked for in a partner and it came easily because I simply wasn’t at all attached to having it.  And there was usually something I didn’t like about it (probably because of my own limiting beliefs), so I let it go, refined my list and asked (and received) again!

I AM.  I just AM.  All I need to do is ask.

Same goes for YOU! And that’s my point.

Love ya!


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